What XenForo needs on a VPS before you install
XenForo is licensed software, so the server comes first: the PHP version and extensions, MySQL, writable directories, cron, and the nginx rewrite.
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XenForo is licensed software, so the server comes first: the PHP version and extensions, MySQL, writable directories, cron, and the nginx rewrite.
Install Flarum on a VPS with PHP, Composer and MariaDB, serve only /public over TLS, and fix the mail and extension upgrade traps that break new forums.
Install Discourse on a VPS with the official Docker launcher: RAM and swap, a real domain, SMTP, app.yml, the rebuild step, TLS and reverse proxies.
Discourse, Flarum, NodeBB and phpBB on a VPS: the RAM each really needs, the database it drags along, the spam story, and the migration path out.